The Riches of Mercy Read online

"I'll come get you in a sec," Jake said. He bounded upstairs with Beau.

  Meredith grinned and followed him more slowly.

  Natalie glared and inwardly cursed at the stairs, but they remained stalwart. She took the railing.

  Jake came back with a crutch. "How come you don't have a crutch?"

  "Because my shoulder's doing all it can to hold onto my arm."

  Meredith disappeared inside.

  "Take the railing with your bad arm."

  "Jake."

  "It's just for balance. Come on."

  Natalie switched sides, and then let Jake foist the crutch under her undamaged armpit. He adjusted the height, and then adjusted again.

  "It's on the wrong side, really. But you'll have to adjust. Now lean your weight on the crutch and put your good foot on the step."

  She did so as carefully as she could, but she still swayed to the side. Jake caught her. "Balance, see? Good. Now, up."

  She pushed herself up using her crutch, and forward, putting her weight on her good leg. The technique was, she admitted, sturdier than what she'd been doing. With practice, it could probably be faster. If she didn't topple backwards down the stairs. When she reached the top step and opened the door, a blast of cold air greeted her. She closed her eyes and offered her face to the breeze.

  "Daniel's out buying steaks," Jake said.

  The living room was decorated in wicker, and the furnishings and walls were white with grey tile.

  "There's four bedrooms. One has bunk beds, that's where the boys will be. You two get the one on the far end, I hope you don't mind sharing, but it's the nicest room. There's a television. Oh, and we have wireless."

  "I have truly returned to civilization," Natalie said.

  "I have wireless," Meredith called from the kitchen.

  "But you don't have a beach."

  Jake grinned.

  Meredith brought Natalie iced tea and complimented her crutch. "I bet I can read your mind."

  "Oh?"

  "You," Meredith said, taking her free hand. "Want to take a nap."

  "I do. More than anything, I do. I'll pay you."

  Jake giggled.

  Meredith tugged her hand. "Come on. Sorry, Jake. We'll visit later."

  "Girl, I see you at work."

  "Thanks, Jake."

  He went to the kitchen for a beer. "I'll be on the porch. I'll distract the boys when they wake up."

  "Should be in about a half hour, when all the chicken wears off." Meredith glared at Natalie.

  "Chicken's healthy."

  "Bless your heart," Meredith said.

  Natalie chuckled.

  The bedroom held a queen-sized bed taking up nearly the entire room. An alcove at the far end contained a large mirror and two doorways on either side.

  "We get our own bathroom, at least. Is this all right?"

  "Seems like my room. I thought you didn't have any friends."

  "This is for you, Natalie. Jake likes you."

  "Merry."

  "I don't want to talk about it."

  "Or think about it?"

  "Either way. Nat, please."

  "Okay."

  "Anyway." Meredith went to study herself in the mirror. "We probably shouldn't be doing that so much, you know. The boys might get confused."

  "Merry--" Natalie hobbled over with her crutch and stood behind Meredith. "It's fine. It doesn't bother me."

  "Me either. That's what bothers me."

  Natalie frowned.

  "It's not you. I like your company." Meredith patted her side.

  "A little too much?"

  Meredith's expression softened. She put her hands on the edge of the counter. "A little too much."

  Natalie nodded. She hobbled to the bed and sat down, carefully leaning her crutch against it. "No one's ever cared about me before."

  "I find that hard to believe, Natalya Ivans."

  They had just had this exchange about Jake. "You're probably right. I--I haven't really been paying attention."

  Meredith came to the bed and put her hands on Natalie's shoulders. "You've healed. I'm glad. You're going to be okay. And you're going to love being back home."

  Natalie didn't say anything. She thought of the woman in front of her, and the boys and the sleeping girl and her friend outside the door, and how much she wanted to pretend she was a guest, just someone to show the sights, she didn't actually belong.

  Natalie put her arms around Meredith's waist and rested her forehead against Meredith's torso, and prayed, 'Please, God, don't let her pull away.'

  Meredith hugged her back. She settled her chin onto the top of Natalie's head.

  "I'm not leaving," Natalie said.

  Meredith pulled away and sat next to her. "I've got a lot of problems."

  "Don't we all?"

  Meredith grinned.

  Natalie held her gaze and reached up to touch her chin. Meredith took Natalie's hand. She pressed it to her cheek.

  Natalie swallowed. She broke the gaze and scooted back on the bed until she could lie flat on her back. She reached for Meredith's hand, and Meredith gave it, moving up to sit against the headboard.

  "Aren't you tired?" Natalie asked.

  Meredith shook her head. "I'll watch you sleep."

  "Okay."

  Natalie closed her eyes.

  #

  Natalie woke up alone. And stiff.

  The clock on the VCR read 4:30 but the afternoon sun made it seem like noon. She heard voices. She spent the next five minutes getting up and then hobbled out into the living room. The voices came from the deck, so she went out there, and saw a tall, tanned man in shorts and a Bermuda shirt standing over a grill.

  The smell of steak made her mouth water.

  "I'm Daniel. I hope you like steak," he said.

  "I do when it smells like that. I'm Natalie."

  "Heard all about you. How are you feeling?"

  She hobbled closer. "I feel great. Fantastic."

  "Glad to hear it."

  She nodded. "Nice place you have here."

  "I like it. Course, I'm from Waxhaw. Jake thinks it's nothing special."

  "Not true," Jake said from a lounge chair. He lifted his head. "You want a drink, Natalie?"

  "I'm good. Where's Merry?"

  "She's down with the kids, fishing. Lean over the railing and you can see her."

  Natalie crept to the railing and peered down at the muddy creek making up an inlet. The boys each held long reeds in their hands, and they were giggling and pushing each other. Meredith sat on the bank, watching them and a little girl, who was digging a hole in the bank.

  "Have a seat," Jake said.

  Natalie sat in the nearest deck chair and blinked against the angle of the sun.

  "Jake says you're a lawyer," Daniel said.

  "I am."

  "Here to help Merry?"

  "I'd like to. Working on how."

  Daniel nodded.

  "He's so happy he has another smart person to talk to," Jake said.

  "I ain't that bright," Daniel said. "Just ask Jake. But at least I vote Republican."

  "He does. He doesn't ever want us to get married," Jake said.

  "'Course not. Republicans need mistresses. So much more fun. Don't I buy you pretty things?"

  Jake sighed and gazed in the direction of the ocean. "You sure do."

  Natalie glanced in Meredith's direction.

  "Oh, just try it with her. I dare you," Jake said. "The woman has a mind of her own."

  "Does she?" Natalie asked.

  "She put you together, didn't she? If I recall, you weren't initially all that interested."

  "It was the drugs. I wasn't interested in anything."

  "Oh, that's a mess. I have a steel rod in my leg. I wouldn't wish the process on anyone," Daniel said.

  Natalie nodded.

  Daniel leaned over the railing. "15 minutes, everyone."

  "Rest, relax, Natalie. You're on vacation."

  Natalie tilted her
head up and closed her eyes.

  # #

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  "Ready to go?" Meredith asked.

  Natalie listened to the crashing waves, low and steady. The plate beside her held only juices. The rest of the steak was in her stomach. Conquered. She'd been dozing. The breeze off the water was cool and the sky turned grey, and then charcoal, without the benefit of a sunset. The sun was behind her head, all the way to California where the other ocean was.

  Meredith promised to wake her up for the sunrise.

  "I'm ready," she said, and thinking about it, she was. Excitement grew within her, taking over the lethargy and the desire for sleep. She wanted to be out there in the night. Jake went to one side, and Meredith to the other, and they lifted her up. She groaned. The chair had been perfect and her body resented moving.

  "I'll stretch her out," Jake said.

  "You'll what?"

  "Trust me."

  So Jake took her into the bedroom and stretched her out while Meredith kissed the boys goodnight, and it was humiliating and painful and left her in tears, and after it she felt like jelly and like she could fly.

  Jake and Daniel carried her down stairs, and then she walked with Meredith the block to the beach.

  Jake's beach was different than the public access she'd seen in the morning--rockier and thinner. The tide was just starting to go out again and the sand underfoot was wet. They walked toward the point, where it was only rocks, and some seaweed and some scrub, where the houses ended and they could see more of the ocean. There were stars, and except for the waves everything was quiet.

  "Are you all right?" Meredith asked.

  Natalie leaned heavily on her, holding her arm. She'd left her crutch at the bottom of the infernal staircase. She felt weak and more broken than she had in days, and she would pay tomorrow.

  She grinned. "I'm good."

  Meredith patted her arm.

  "I was a trial lawyer, you know--Am. I mean, it's nothing like on Law & Order. Oh, how I wanted it to be. But it's mostly procedural items and long dockets read aloud and witnesses who are reluctant and afraid and who lie and who smell. And the jury, seeking blood. Bored. Salivating. If they have to miss work, or miss their children, then they want something.

  "All they get is tedium. Endless tedium. But I didn't care. I would go there. I'd say, 'Look, look at that killer,' or, 'We're going to tell you what he allegedly did. But you know he did.' I took risks."

  "But you weren't good with people."

  Natalie shook her head. "I never felt like I was a nice enough person. So I worked harder."

  Meredith nodded.

  "You're not going to tell me I'm crazy?"

  "I'm not a psychologist. You seem all right to me. A little testy."

  "I was in a car accident!"

  "Mmhm."

  Natalie snorted.

  At the point of the beach where rocks made a natural barrier and waves splashed unevenly, there was a bench. An ordinary park bench, sitting there in the middle of the flatness.

  "Kind of incongruous, don't you think?" Natalie asked.

  "I prefer to think of it as found art. The tourists complain, but they sit."

  "Like we're about to do."

  "Why, yes. Smartiepants."

  "I made it weeks in Tarpley without hearing that."

  "Well, to your face," Meredith said.

  Natalie gasped. Meredith sat on the bench and Natalie sat next to her. "I take it back. I would have never been able to get up from the ground."

  "Nope."

  Natalie sighed.

  "You're getting stronger every day. Soon you'll forget all this."

  "Not all of this."

  "The bad parts."

  "Not all the bad parts."

  "You should."

  Natalie gazed at Meredith and not the ocean, crashing, demanding attention, offering moonlight dancing on water and fish leaping up like black spots and ships in the distance with pretty lights.

  "Tell me about the case," Natalie said.

  "You know--"

  "I mean, the details. The procedures. What they said. What you said. What you've filed. What evidence has been presented--"

  "Whoa, hold on."

  "I want to help you."

  "You can't help me, Nat."

  "I know what I'm doing. I'm good. I win. I know it's none of my business--"

  "It's not."

  Natalie held Meredith's gaze. She licked her lips and noticed how the moonlight reflected in Meredith's eyes. Little flecks of white moving along a glossy black surface.

  "I want--" Natalie started, and then rethought her words. She said, deliberately, "I want to be the one that saves you."

  "You know, for a long time," Meredith said, with equal slowness and precision, as if the words were warding off crying--Natalie could hear tears in her voice, the sob underneath, and the way she blinked more. "I didn't want to be saved."

  "I know," Natalie said.

  "But now."

  "Let me help," Natalie said. She put her hand over Meredith's.

  "There's nothing you can do."

  Natalie swallowed.

  "I'm sure you're a good lawyer and all, but you're not a part of it. I don't want you to be."

  "Listen."

  "Oh, you've convinced me," Meredith said.

  "That's not what I meant," Natalie said. She put her free hand on Meredith's shoulder and leaned in and kissed her.

  Meredith squeaked. Her mouth opened slightly as she gasped, but she didn't move. Natalie pressed against the warmth of her lips long enough to make a memory, and then pulled back. Meredith breathed. Natalie felt the breath against her face. She let go of Meredith's shoulder.

  "Sorry," she said.

  "It doesn't change anything," Meredith said. She gazed at Natalie evenly; their heads still close together, their breaths mingling.

  "Why not?"

  "I'll be convicted, Vince's parents will get the boys, and you'll be back in Charlotte seeing it all on the evening news."

  "I could--"

  "You're not my attorney."

  "I want to help you," Natalie said.

  "Help me do what?"

  "Stay out of jail?"

  "It's my fault I'm going. My decision. I made it. It wasn't in a vacuum--. It was every decision I've ever made, since childhood. And Vince--Do you think you can irrevocably change the course of my life? It's going to keep going, just the way it is."

  Natalie was silent. Her eyes stung with tears. She moved her hand from Meredith's shoulder to her neck, cupping it gently. The skin was smooth and warm under her fingers. She wanted to stroke it, to see where it led. She wanted the family, and the woman with it.

  "You saved me," Natalie said.

  Meredith turned away. "Not in the strict definition."

  Natalie dropped her hand. She felt something closing in on her. Walls. Pain. Darkness. Convincing by argument is all she had ever done. She knew the right words to get someone to convict someone else; to get them to push someone else off a cliff. But she could no more get defendants to confess than she could get Meredith to fight.

  Meredith was right--she didn't change lives, she just got people to where they were going. Commit a crime and get caught, and the rest was inevitable. With enough poverty or enough oppression or enough torment, even committing a crime was inevitable.

  "Fine. Fine. But can't I do something while I'm here? Tell me. Let me."

  "I don't--"

  "Come on."

  "Natalie Ivans, are you whining?"

  Natalie dropped her head.

  Meredith touched her shoulder. "You're serious."

  "I will grant one wish in return for being able to walk again."

  "Okay," Meredith said. The word was so small the ocean almost deafened it. Meredith wouldn't meet her eyes. She studied the horizon instead, and said, "Then hold me."

  Meredith didn't move until Natalie took her in her arms. Stiffly, she leaned. Natalie put one arm around her
shoulders and the other against her head, stroking her hair. Meredith relaxed. They stayed close and at the ocean together until the moon rose and Natalie started to get cold.

  Natalie tilted her head, preparing to ask if Meredith was ready to limp back inside, or fetch a sedan chair for her. Meredith had been completely still for minutes, but at Natalie's shift, lifted her head. Her cheeks glistened with spilled tears. She cupped the back of Natalie's neck and pulled her down.

  Their lips met solidly.

  A thrill went through Natalie as they kissed, as the touch lingered past doubts and hesitations, as Meredith's lips parted and there was heat. Natalie felt supple and eager and powerful. She cupped the side of Meredith's face and returned each kiss.

  Meredith moaned. The sound escaped her throat and found Natalie's ears. Natalie kissed the corner of Meredith's mouth. Meredith panted against her lips, and then kissed her cheek, then the side of her face, then her hair.

  Meredith clutched her so tightly Natalie felt strong for being able to withstand it.

  "Oh, God," Meredith said.

  Natalie chuckled. She cupped Meredith's face and said, "Did you just take the Lord's name in vain?"

  Meredith closed her eyes and said, "No. I really, really meant it. You have no idea."

  "I have some idea."

  Meredith's eyelids fluttered open. "You do?"

  "Yes." Natalie, still cupping her face, leaned in and kissed her, trying to share all the things that the hurried, passionate kisses hadn't.

  Meredith kissed her back, tipping her face, smiling through the kisses until Natalie broke off, laughing. Then she brought Meredith back against her. They watched the water, and Natalie's heart quieted in her chest, though Meredith's hand was on her leg, and the breeze blew Meredith's hair across her neck.

  "I don't know what's going to happen," Meredith said. "What I deserve, I suppose. But this will help. I promise. I'll think of this. Can you stand?"

  "I don't know," Natalie said.

  Meredith stood up and offered her hands. "Come on."

  Natalie took her hands. She tried to pull herself up. Pain shot through her shoulder. She fell back onto the bench, wincing.

  "Breathe," Meredith said, moving back to her side.

  "Hard to breathe."

  Meredith wrapped her arms around Natalie's waist. "Try again."

  "Let me just stay here forever."

  "Forever?"

  "Sure. Reliving the best night of my life."

  Meredith chuckled. She heaved, and Natalie put all her weight on her good leg and let Meredith guide her into a balanced standing position. She teetered, but her legs held under her. Neither turned to twigs. She turned carefully and hugged Meredith.